My daughter turns 1 this week and I can’t believe it. I look back at her pictures from when she was first born and throughout the months and I can’t help but think, “WOW, where did my little baby go?”
I’ve been thinking of how I felt this time last year. I was completely impatient and waiting for this girl to be here!! She was kicking up a storm and I was looking up all kinds of old wives tales about how to induce labor (none of them worked by the way… she still came 5 days after her due date). But once she was here, it didn’t matter. I was glad that it was over, but I was more glad that my birth plan was a success and that she was healthy and in my arms!
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Even at almost 1 year old, she still has many of her little quirks that she had since birth. Her “milk drunk” look, her little crooked smile, the light in her eyes, the peaceful face when she sleeps, the way she stretches when she’s waking up, her curious nature….
They tell you how rewarding it is to raise a little one, but the only way to really understand it is to experience it yourself.
****please try not to experience it til you are ready***
When I think about what I could be doing if I didn’t have her, nothing comes to mind. I’m so grateful that she came into our lives. There have been many, many hard times that I’m glad are over. But looking back, that doesn’t matter. The good really does outweigh the bad. We are all healthy. We are all together. We are blessed. We are cared for and looked after. We are grateful!
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I joke that a baby’s birthday should be to celebrate the mother. WHERES MY GIFT!!! – but I know that’s what Mother’s Day is for lol. I’ve learned so many lessons and I think that is my gift (besides the actual baby). So many hard lessons and I do not wish anything went differently. Well- I wish my Grandaddy was still here in good health. But that’s another story!… I also wish I didn’t have to kinda start from scratch with my fitness goals, but that’s okay. I’m learning to enjoy the process….
Back to the lessons. So many hard lessons.
Here is the main lesson I learned this year:
People project their fears, insecurities, and failures onto you. I’ve had a natural birth, bought a house, took a major exam for my career, breastfed and plan to continue breastfeeding, make my own baby food, workout hard and eat relatively clean, I’m a working mom with my own hobbies, and upcoming business…. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE THINGS I did WHILE pregnant or WITH an infant. Someone or multiple someones have basically told me that I am crazy for wanting to do any/ all of these things or I wouldn’t be successful at doing it or they couldn’t do it or they listed some reasons why I am crazy for thinking that I can…
I am so glad I have the bit of self-efficacy that I do, because I would be so depressed and stuck if I’d listened to any of the negativity. I work for what I want and I always get it, or get better. That’s a fact.
- Yes, I had a natural birth (non-medicated). I mentally and physically prepared for it, I also had a great support person (fiancé), so I was successful. The natural birth was difficult, but I will do it again if I have another child.
- Yes, I bought a house. The process was challenging but thanks to my fiancé, my amazing realtor, and my support system, everything went pretty much smoothly.
- Yes, I took the PE exam. I failed it. But when I take it again this year, I know my weaknesses and what to expect and work on.
- Yes, I am breastfeeding my daughter and I will probably continue for a while. Breastfeeding was challenging at the beginning but it has gotten easier. I am doing what is best for my daughter, despite what society- and even my family- tells me.
- Yes, I make my own baby food. I know they sell it already made, but I’ve enjoyed making her food. She has her whole life to eat processed food.
- Yes, I work out hard and eat relatively clean. It is hard to work out after working and mom-ing all day, but I know it’s worth it and I enjoy it. Working out keeps me from getting crazy.
- Yes, I’m a working mom with my own hobbies and goals. It does take time away from my family, but a happy mommy = a happy family. I want my daughter to see what I am capable of so she can know that she is capable of so much more.
Furthermore, why does it matter to anyone what I am doing or how much energy I’ll have to do what I want to do. Just because YOU can’t do it, doesn’t mean that I can’t. What ever happened to encouraging each other? But I digress.
New moms, young women, humans of this earth, whoever is reading this blog: If someone is not supporting you and telling you that you won’t be successful at something, figure out why they are saying these things. Most likely the reason has to do with them and not you. You are capable. You are competent. You are competitive. You are it.
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Happy Birthday week to my Mommy!!!
I love you so much and I’m so grateful I get to call you mine! You motivate me and push me to be my best and you don’t even know it yet. I hope I’m making you proud because I am a reflection of you! You deserve the world and don’t you let anyone tell you differently.
Love, Mommy!!
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***champagne and confetti***
Jalynn
pmreflection.com 