Here is a list of what I’m trying my best to do, so you can know I kinda understand:
Study for and pass my exam (I failed it the first time)
Be an amazing mom
Be an amazing partner
Be a great employee
Workout when I’m supposed to and be fit
Enjoy each day
Run a business
Be a blogger
Get enough sleep
Keep a non-dirty house
Be social, make new friends
The things I’m actually doing:
Being hard on myself
So yeah, that’s what I have going on… I think this is more of a letter to myself than anyone else, but here she is!
It’s tough because I want more than one thing… if I ONLY wanted to keep a clean house, that would be easy. If I ONLY wanted to be an amazing mom and forgot the other stuff, it would be easy. If I ONLY wanted to be fit, it would be easier…. There are 14 things that I listed off the top of my head that I want to successfully do on a regular basis… that’s a lot. Of course, it’s hard to balance it all!
Is it possible to do it all? I think so! The biggest hurdle for me right now is this exam coming up next month… it’s taking so much time to study and prepare, I feel like I’m failing at the other things… I know it must be done, and exactly one month from now, it’ll be over and I WILL PASS this time. I will be able to spend more time on my other 13 tasks.
But back to you, the reader lol…
You may feel alone and way over your head (same). Whether you are trying to be successful at one thing or a million different things, KEEP ON GOING! Once this task is complete, you’ll be glad you did it…
Run through the mud and wash off later.
So what if you failed last time… you failed. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE… Failures give up. Victors keep going til they win, until they finish.
Sacrifices have to be made. Be brave.
It hurts to have to block out the outside noise. Especially when that noise comes from those you love. They see you. They don’t understand the weight you carry on your shoulders, your own expectations for yourself. They don’t get it. They don’t understand why.
You hate yourself for procrastinating all this time, for not being as focused in the beginning, but its grind time now. It’s the fourth quarter, the money quarter, and the winner is determined in the end, not the beginning. So get to it, bitch.
Boss bitches make moves, not excuses.
The first step is believing you can, dear. The hardest step is believing you will be successful. Your thoughts create a ripple affect that will lead you to your success. See yourself at the end. Know that you deserve this! Instead of worrying and thinking of 50 reasons why you can’t or wont, think about 50 reasons why you will and you should.
Don’t let it swallow you whole… You’re doing the best you can. The things that aren’t completed today can be done tomorrow, and that is fine. Don’t forget about those close to you who love you. Don’t push them away while you are trying to reach unrealistic deadlines.
Take time to breathe. When you aren’t doing what you’re “supposed to do” enjoy what you are actually doing… enjoy that tv show. Enjoy your kids. Enjoy that extra 30 minutes in traffic by listening to your favorite playlist or phoning a loved one.
The worst thing you can do is spend all of your time thinking about something else you should do or counting down time. It drains your energy.
Enjoy each moment because once it passes, it’s gone forever… You will never be this young again. Your kids will never be this tiny and needy again. This time with your loved ones may never happen again.
A few things that are more important than your errands, your money, or your projects:
Your health (mental and physical)
Time with your loved ones
Having a solid plan (not just trying to keep busy)
Just plain FUN
When you feel consumed by it all, take 10 minutes to reflect. Ask yourself:
What is most important to me right now?
What can wait until tomorrow?
What needs to be done right now?
How can I complete these goals effectively?
When is the best time to work on each task without interruption?
What time of day can I get the most done?
To me, the last two questions are the most important. I have to do most of my work without interruption so I can maximize my time and energy. The early mornings are the best time for me. Whatever I can’t fit in the 2-3 hours before everyone wakes up will have to wait until tomorrow (or until nap time lol).
Stop focusing so much on what you aren’t doing and focus on what you can do and when you can do it. Compartmentalize and properly time out everything. Love each minute. Love what you’re doing. Its your life to live. You are doing the work… don’t let it work you. Remember the reasons why you started. The reasons you started are sometimes the same things that get in your way, but that makes it so much more special.
***champagne and confetti***
. PS: check out my older post about How to Properly Complete Your TO-DO List (its not just for moms)!!
As moms, we have a MILLION things to do and we have to miraculously stay on top of it all. We have to raise productive members of society, take care of our family, go to work, have hobbies, spend time with family and friends, cook, clean, take care of ourselves, pay the bills, perform home improvements, run errands, practice self-care, etc. The list never ends.
How is it possible to remember it all AND get everything done?????? The answer : YOU DON’T. Sorry, not sorry. It is hard. YOU ARE SUPERWOMAN, but even Superwoman can miss a few things here and there.
I’ve always been a “list lady”. For as long as I remember, I’ve always kept at least one little notebook with me so I can write down a good point or a quick list to look at later.
I am very goal oriented. I also sometimes struggle with balancing all of my thoughts and goals/expectations for myself. I find that seeing everything in writing helps me prioritize tasks and determine what is most important for me and what makes the most sense for right now.
When I got pregnant, one of the first things I did (after feeling sorry for myself) was make a list of all the things I wanted to accomplish before the baby was born. I knew that I would have doctor’s appointments and other dates to keep track of, so I went to buy a planner. From my huge “to-do” list, I decided what order I needed everything done in. I wrote down what I wanted to accomplish each month, then what I wanted to accomplish each day.
Once January came, I did my 2020 goals list. From there I broke the goals down into each month. Each month that we enter, I add on to the monthly list, and finally break the goals down into days. I regularly write everything I want to do each day. I feel so good when I can scratch something off on a list!!!!
Truth be told, it took me a while to get into a good system to keep track of my lists and thoughts. Here are some things I do to stay on top of everything in life (in no particular order):
1. Have a great support system.
Having an involved partner, a family member, a close friend, or even hired help to share the workload or watch the kid while you do what you have to do is a very big help. Any time you can delegate a task to another person, do it! The more they are willing to do, the better! If someone offers to do something, consider letting them! In my home, we have “assigned chores” so that everything is not left for one person to do. Also, if I have an easy errand or grocery run, I will call my partner or another family member to see if they can help if they are in the area or when they are doing their own errands.
2. Take advantage of any second you can.
Snack time AND nap time!!!! When baby can feed self- use that opportunity to wash dishes, tidy up kitchen and dining area, do some quick homework, quickly prepare a meal, fix something for yourself to eat, workout – whatever you can get done (while keeping a watchful eye)! A little bit done is better than nothing done. Plus, you could always finish later (during the next second you get).
3. TV time.
My daughter watches TV, but some shows she takes more interest in than others. When one of her favorite shows is on, I get some quick work done where I don’t have to make too much noise that would take her attention away from the TV, i.e. fold laundry, have a snack, run to the bathroom, whatever else I can do.
4. Get up super early in the morning (or stay up late).
I get up at 4-4:30AM to workout, clean up, have some personal time, or whatever else I want to do without distractions. Sometimes we could use a little alone time to hear our own thoughts without interruption (and it is well worth it).
5. Do things when you think about it (if you can).
Don’t keep putting it off. Get up and do it because, most likely, it won’t take as long as you think. If you can’t do it right then, add it to your list.
6. Keep lists/goals in a notebook and/or planner. Handwritten or in your phone.
Like I was talking about earlier: write down your daily tasks/goals. Whatever I don’t complete on time, I just push it to the next day. If you have everything written in one place, it’s easy to keep track of and you won’t forget the important things. Mom brain is real, trust me.
7. Ask for help.
See #1. Don’t be too proud. I know you want to do it all, but make it a little easier on yourself. If your mom, partner, whoever can run to the store for you, let them. Especially if they offer.
8. Prioritize your day.
I normally rank my daily lists in order of importance. What NEEDS to be done today? What bills are due today? What do we need to do today for a successful tomorrow? For me, life is a constant game of “Would You Rather”. I always ask myself, “Would you rather fix dinner or sit here and relax? Would you rather get up early or stay up late?
9. Ask yourself, would it be okay if this task goes undone? The answer should be yes, but I will try my best to do it.
Sometimes we are unrealistic. Sometimes the store is out of milk and you will have to put off until tomorrow. Sometimes you have to work late and you can’t make it to your gym class. Even the things you REALLY want to get done today, go undone. It is OKAY. We just have to make adjustments and substitutions. Do a quick at-home workout if you can’t make it to the gym. Order take-out if you don’t have time to make dinner before bedtime. It’s okay for the kids to have oatmeal for dinner sometimes.
10. Pick at least one self-care thing to do a month.
Hair dresser, massage, nail shop, etc. Whatever self-care means to you- try to do it at least once a month. I usually get a massage every month and my hair done every other month.
11. Prioritize meal prep and workouts (at least 2 a week).
Your own health should be the most important thing on your list. Workouts keep you healthy. filling your body with nutrient rich foods gives you the energy to make it through the day. Prioritize yourself. Some weeks we will skip out on this. For the majority of the time, try to make YOU a priority so you can be your best self for everyone and everything else.
Sometimes its nice to have other things to think about besides your family and lists to complete. A break from your routine can be a refresher, leaving you more energized.
13. Forgive yourself AND OTHERS.
Life sucks, things go undone, you will mess up, you will feel unworthy and not good enough, you will cry yourself to sleep. People will mess you over and make you angry. You have to remember your purpose and don’t dwell in the negative for TOO long. Trust me, I am the Queen of Self-Pity… You are a victor, not a victim. #blessed
Please let me know how these steps have helped you or if you want to know more about my routines! I look forward to interacting with you!